You've seen the R3 that I wear, right? -> http://www.safetysolutionsracing.com/
I picked it because it stays with your body vs depending on an interference fit between your body and your belts. The Defender looks like a decent option as well as its got alot of other crap to help retain the belts. Both have very good sled results from what I can tell and both have that SFI approval that LeMons, NASA, etc want you to have.
Suits - I like my Sparco and CarbonX combo. At $100 for shirt and $100 for pants CarbonX aint cheap, but its supposed to protect alot better. Almost all the NHRA drag racers use CarbonX stuff and you know how often those people catch stuff on fire..
no idea on helmet, I don't wear glasses
disclaimer - I'm no expert, just read alot of stuff and have strong opinions about what I went with